August 18th, 2025

Hello! I'm alive! This summer has been really weird feeling, so I apologize for the lack of updates. I started working on a new layout, so we'll see how long this takes before I either a) change my mind, or b) actually finish and update the site LMAO.

That being said...

I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!

That's right kids, it's official. The flight has been booked, hotels are in the process of being booked, and we're making a list of all the fun things we want to do while there. We're going to go to Tokyo, Kyoto, and maybe a small town in between the two. I'm also going to meet my online friend, Mimi! She plays Final Fantasy XIV with me, and she's also been tutoring me in Japanese to prepare me for the trip. She's also been so kind and sending me recommendations for hotels and kimono shops! I'm so excited to see her. We'll be going in November for my birthday - I can't wait to celebrate in a foreign country!!

That's probably the biggest news I have, tbh. This summer has flown by, but honestly, it has felt very uneventful. I think it's because it's been so unbearably hot, and that seems to be the general consensus no matter where people are from this year. Not just hot, but humid, and the last couple weeks have had soooo much rain. It actually flooded where I live really badly (we're ok!!).

Both of my parents' birthdays went by (my dad in June, my mom is July). My relationship with my dad is a little strained as of late...his birthday is right around Father's Day. So, I wanted to see him during his actual birthday to give him his gift, and then take him out the following Sunday for brunch/lunch. I had told him a week or two ahead of both occasions what I'd like to do and if it were ok, and he had said yes. Then, his birthday comes around and he cancels, which...annoying, but it was on a weekday, and I was going to see him only a few days later, so it's whatever. THEN, Sunday comes around (Father's Day)...and he cancels on me an hour before we're supposed to meet. I ended up picking my mom up (they're still married and live together) for lunch, which was fine, but it's like...ok, what are you doing out with your mom on Father's Day? When I dropped her off, I handed her his gift because I didn't even want to see him. He ended up texting me like three days later thanking me for it.

I bring this up because I hung out with my mom yesterday, and I had to use the bathroom, which meant going inside their home and seeing my dad. It was fine, but it felt awkward. We hadn't spoken to each other in about two months. I'm just so angry and disappointed and I don't want to put any of my time and effort into him, because he doesn't do it for me. And I feel really silly saying this because I'm in my 30's and not a child, but like...idk. It's weird. My family is weird. I wish I had a normal family a lot. I see Joel with his family and they see each other all the time, talk every day, see extended family regularly. I just don't have that. My extended family is in England and MIA, my brother has a mental disability so we like rarely talk and when I try to bond with him it just doesn't work. My dad is giving all his time and energy to his AA buddies instead of his own family. My mom is the only one holding us all together, and I don't want to bother her.

Anyway, idk where this came from, but uh...sorry? LMAO I didn't want to make this personal but here you go I guess. I gotta update my CD collection here and eventually put up my new layout, but I'll be honest - I don't know when that will happen. My passion and drive and interest for any of my hobbies is waning.

Omg, I forgot the most important update of all...SHIRO'S BIRTHDAY!! He turned 10 on August 10th - his golden birthday! I'm still waiting for my gift to get here for him because the US is trying so dang hard to isolate itself from the rest of the world so everything takes x-amount of times longer now. In lieu of his gift, I will give you all a gift:

The little guy is finally a foot wide (probably more, tbh, whoops)