June 5th, 2025

For the last few weeks or so, I've been feeling so stuck. There is a stagnant feeling in my mind and chest - and it manifests itself by giving me decision paralysis, meaning I spend most of my free time doing absolutely nothing. When I do find something to do, it's a cycle between reading or playing video games, and it's getting a little boring.

That being said, it's affected my interest in this site as well. Not only that, but work has left me so fatigued that, even if I did have a decision on what to do, I don't even want to do it. It's such a weird feeling. I feel like there are important things that I'm forgetting to do as well, but the itch in my brain just cannot be scratched.

Maybe I need to move around more? I haven't properly exercised since like, March. I just don't have the energy. There's a wall that I just can't break through, and I don't know why.

All this to say - I'm still here. I'm still lurking, saying hello in my own way. I'm currently in the "I have to force myself to be interested in my life and interests" phase of depression. This is such a frustrating phase because it's the phase I spend the most time in. Let me outta here, brain.