July 29, 2024

Things I've been up to

Was basically forced to go to an air show with Joel's parents and brother. Joel's mom likes to bulldoze over everyone's plans and make it about her. It was fun, sure, but we were already in a rush because we had plans that evening, and we had to pay $55 for parking. She never asks if we want to do something - she just tells us. I asked Joel, "What does she have on the men in your family?" Because neither his dad nor his brothers stand up to her, either. I don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a loner and the concept of family was never strong with my own - maybe it's actually normal and expected for families to just put up with each other's bs and hang out every free moment possible. My brother would literally have a tantrum if all four of us rode in the same car to McDonald's, so maybe I don't get it.

Got some sushi with my friends, then we went to see our other friend perform in a musical. I'm not about musicals at all, but I am about performance, so I was excited to see my friend in her element. It was also an original musical, so it was cool to see her and the others be the first people to act in these roles. We also found out that a Ben & Jerry's ice cream store opened in our town - I didn't even know they had storefronts - so that was super exciting. I have a hard time making plans with people, mainly because I'm so tired all the time, and I'm much more inclined to spend my free time sleeping. I'm also very introverted, so if I have one activity planned, I have to spend the entirety of the next day recovering from it. It's really annoying, honestly.

I've been re-familiarizing myself with Nekojiru, and good lord does it resonate with me too hard. It feels silly to say this, because I feel like feeling this way is sort of the antithesis to her work, but I can't deny that I've been finding myself wanting to have a little brother to do dumb shit with and bother other people while also pointing out and cynically calling out the weirdness of life. I'm honestly not that smart nor introspective, as much as I'd like to be. I had Joel watch Cat Soup with me yesterday, and on the second go-around for me, it made way more sense. It also was cool to recognize call outs from older Nekojiru works, which I didn't recognize the first time around.

"she's just like me fr," we say in unison

Media I've been consuming

Cat Soup/Nekojiru, as mentioned above.

Still working on The Virgin Suicides. I'm a slow reader, only because I pace myself. My eyes move quickly, but I cap myself out at 20 pages/night.

Cardcaptor Sakura (manga). God, I forgot how weird the relationships are in this. I love CLAMP, but I can't recommend them to anyone.

A Sign of Affection (manga) & A Condition Called Love (manga). They're sort of two sides of the same coin, even if the stories are wildly different. Gotta get my fuzzy shoujo fix.

Speaking of fuzzy shoujo, I finally watched Ao Haru Ride. It was just as good as I expected, and they animated one of my all-time favorite scenes, which geeked me out hard. But - it totally felt like they were planning on continuing it, unlike the two manga I mentioned above's anime adaptations. Hopefully it gets the Kimi Ni Todoke treatment and eventually comes back. I'm finding out more and more that people preferred the anime and didn't like the second half of the manga as much as the first, and I can't relate, honestly. The second half was peak shoujo torment, even if Toma really didn't have any purpose outside of elongating the conflict between Futaba and Kou. Plus all the stuff with Shuko, Kominato, and the teacher!? My heart.

oh to be 16 again....

Thoughts I've been thinking

Almost every other post I see on social media is political. And not like "Hey, these are the causes I support, and here is why I'm a good, honest person and you should vote for me," but instead it's "Here's why person x is bad, and why person y is awesome and person x sucks, and look person y is hanging out with a celebrity." Politics is all so performative, but that's not a new nor a unique thought.

Also, can we stop assumming that the people we're talking to hold the same belief system we have, please? It happens on both sides, religious or not, and it's annoying af. I never go into a conversation expecting the person I'm talking to to just agree with my morals, and the fact that it happens on the regular, with strangers, friends, and family, is so concerning. We're so self-centered (again, not a new or unique thought. Why am I trying to portray myself as intelligent and eloquent? I'm just a girl).

Anyway, sorry about the downer mood of this entry. I'm just finding myself annoyed by a lot of things lately for honestly no reason. I just need to focus on myself.

my moods on the daily. being a girl is awesome.